Saturday, 21 February 2015

The Anti-Larrie - A Guide

The other side of the fandom used to be a mystery to me. I don't like thinks being mysterious, so I decided to look into the dark world of anti-larries.
I have compiled a good amount of knowledge which ultimately has led me to categorize the species into three different categories:

The Naive Anti-Larrie 
Appearance: Wide-eyed, typically young looking,  appears to be a population of primarely heterosexual cis-females.
Often Found: Browsing "The Sun", update accounts followers-lists, local walmart - 1D Merch row.
Typical behaviour/ Life from their perspective:
This species has a distinctive trust in the world around them. Seen from their perspective, a typical line of thought might be:

"I just don't get that Larry thing?? Louis has a gf??? Harry is with Nadine/ Kendall/ Paige/ Taylor -I know, because The Sun wrote it? :s"
Newspapers write news, why would they lie?

"Louis would never let anyone tweet for him!"/ "Louis denied being gay on twitter, please respect taht!! p.s. I love you @Louis_Tomlinson can you plz flw <3"
OR: Louis may suffer from dissociative identity disorder. Furthermore,one of his alters is a superhero, which makes him able to tweet while dancing, waving, writing autographs and even while asleep on a plane. 

Common allergic reactions to the Naive Anti-Larrie:

The Cognitively Challenged Anti-Larrie
Appearance: A more varied and colourful species than the Naive Anti-Larrie. This sort tend to look  bit older than the naive ones. still primarely heterosexual cis-females. There is also a few heterosexual cis-males amongst them though.
Often Found: In the comments section on every larry-account on instagram and twitter or looking through DressLike1D's photos
Typical behavior/ Life from their perspective:
The lack of associative- and cognitive skills in this type of anti-larrie are often displayed in a thought process that tends to include these beliefs:

"Lol, they're just joking"
OR: Harry has the record for longest lasting joke. Actually, it was a joke when he said Louis was his first crush (twice), it was a joke when he said Patrick Dempsey was 'steamy' and 'outrageously handsome' and d'ya know what? It was in fact also a joke when he continuously denied dating every woman he was ever linked to. It was just a laugh when he said that gender was "not that important" and "don't knock it 'till you try it".
Ultimately, homosexuality is actually just quite laughable - a great joke.

"they aren't friends, that's why they don't interact in public, not because they're together"
OR: I believe that two members of the same boy band whom I admit used to be best friend, whom spend around 8 months each year in a tour bus/ same hotels/ on stage/ glued to each other actually  hate each other.
I also have a belief that 1Ds management doesn't do any managing. Harry is a womanizer and Louis is homophobic, but that's okay, because being called gay is offensive.

..often accompanied by:

"why are the larries freaking out bc L and H used to interact a lot?! they're just friends, it isn't proof of anything!!1oneone!1!"
OR:  H & L are best friends who hold hands, shares sexual innuendos and sign word like "hope" "love" "mine" and "lover" to each other in a completely casual bro-pal kinda way. The hand holding is completely platonic, as is the jealousy and their continuous love declarations on stage.
When this explanation becomes problematic, i just switch to the they-hate-each-other-answer.


"they liked that picture by mistake/ got hacked"
OR: Harry, Louis and a long string of family members and friends all have the password "1234". They also have absurdly clumsy fingers that both manages to type in "#LarryStylinson" and then press fave-buttons.

Common Allergic Reactions to The Cognitively Challenged Anti-Larrie:

The Offended Anti-Larrie
Appearance: Angry
Often Found: In the "blocked"-lists of every Larry-blog, on their dedicated debunk-larry blogs, everywhere near larries having a good time
Typical behaviour/ Life from their Perspective:
The offended Anti-Larrie often reacts outwards in an aggressive manor. They also like to speak about others more than they like speaking about themselves. Examples might be:

"larries believe *insert belief literally NO larries have*"
OR: I decided to try and understand larries. I failed.
Maybe because i never actually visited a larry blog. At least not to do anything else than leave a few hateful comments with a severe overuse of the words 'delusional'.

OR: I had a really bad day/week/month/life and i found your blog.


"Kill Yourself, stupid Larries!!! Louis and Eleanor are happy and Harry likes to have fun with models, why don't you get it?!!"

OR: I have no concept of appropriate behavior. I also don't know what a happy face looks like and i don't understand why newspapers would lie. Unless they say something about Harry and Louis not being straight, then they're being manipulated by those horrible Larry shippers. obviously.

Common allergic reactions to the Offended Anti-Larrie:

And that's that. The encyclopedia of the Anti-Larry species.

(BTW, FYI, IMPORTANT, LOOK HERE, TAKE NOTE: This is just a joke post. I don't mean to offend anyone and i don't want to fight. I just like joking around and i find the discussions within this fandom both hilariously entertaining and sort of sad - i chose to focus on the entertaining part.)

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